Every time someone really good dies, you learn something interesting about them by reading the obituary. Here is a really fine obituary from today's issue of the Portland Press Herald:
Mary Arnold Hillas
FALMOUTH - Mary Arnold Hillas of Ocean View in Falmouth died peacefully in her home on Aug. 11, 2005. She had lived with primary progressive aphasia for five years. She was 76 years old.Daughter of Thomas Ivan Arnold and Marjorie Eccles Arnold, Mary was bom in Paterson and grew up in Hawthorne, N.J. As a child, she spent part of every summer in South Harpswell with her family and her beloved aunts, Henrietta 'Tippy' and Mary Arnold.
After graduating from Wheaton College in Norton, Mass., she married Roger Hillas, and moved to the Philadelphia area, where they raised four children. In addition to nurturing her children, Mary gardened, painted and sailed. She helped found the Daycare Association of Montgomery County, serving as both President of the Board and host to its teeming summer camp at her home in Gwynedd Valley. Mary also co-founded the Wissahickon Valley Hospice. Returning to school in the mid 1970s, she received a Masters in Christian Counseling from Princeton Theological Seminary.
After moving to Maine in 1982, Mary joined the Portland Friends Meeting, which she came to refer to as her 'beloved community.' In 1983 she went with a group to visit the 'poorest of the poor' in Kenya and in India, where she worked for five days in Mother Teresa's Home for the Destitute and Dying.Mary was an active and innovative philanthropist. For many years, she was on the board of the Lyman Fund, a small Quaker fund that awards grants to further the spiritual growth of individuals. She was one of the 'founding mothers' who, in 1992, established the Maine Women's Fund to provide seed money for programs benefiting the women and girls of Maine. She became its first president and remained an ardent supporter of the Fund.
For several years she and her partner, Barbara Potter, led 'Money and Spirit' workshops on the power of money in our lives.
In 2003 Mary received the Watering Can Award in Philanthropy from Maine Initiatives as recognition for all her work on behalf of others.Mary was an artist and craftsperson. She built a Folboat in her living room and used it to paddle the rivers and lakes of Maine. She attended the Shelter Institute so she could act as general contractor for the house she and Barbara built on the Saco River in West Buxton.
A lover of the earth, she built a labyrinth, raised a teepee, and blazed trails through the woods and fields.Gardening was Mary's passion. Everywhere she lived she created a spectacular garden, Her garden journal begins with a quote from May Sarton, 'Gardening is altogether different. There the door is always open to the holy... growth, birth, death... every flower holds the whole mystery in its short cycle.'
Mary could both rewire a lamp and gently counsel a friend in spiritual distress. An adventurer at heart, Mary slept in an Egyptian Pyramid, swung in the boatswain's chair on a schooner, made life-long friends in Mombassa, Kenya, and bicycled the Acadian carriage paths in her seventies.
We love Mary both for what she was and what she was not. She was a disinterested cook. For all her generosity to others, she was a child of the Depression who shopped for her own clothes at Goodwill.Throughout her life Mary was devoted to her children and grandchildren. Nothing gave her more joy than their many visits full to the brim with shared values and much laughter. Mary was cherished by many: as mother, mother-in-law, 'Nanny,' mentor and friend, sister, and as a life partner beyond compare.
Mary is survived by her children and their spouses, Roger Hillas Jr. and Lisa Olson of Washington D.C., Susan (Hillas) and Barton Merle-Smith of North Ferrisburg, Vt., Charlotte Hillas and Michael Vermette of St. Albans, Lynn Hillas and Glenn Pittell of Albuquerque, N.M.; three granddaughters, Charlotte, Elizabeth, and Julia Merle-Smith; a sister, Virginia Lovejoy of Portland; a brother, Thomas Arnold of Brookline, N.H.; and her partner of 23 years, Barbara Potter of Falmouth.
Her family wishes to express its appreciation to Dr. Elizabeth Ackerson for her many years of attentive and loving care and to Hospice of Southern Maine for its wonderful oversight these past weeks.
A memorial celebration of Mary's life will be held on Sept. 17, at 3 p.m. at Woodsford's Congregational Church, 202 Woodsford St., Portland.
Friends wanting to give a contribution in her memory may send a gift to: Portland Friends Meeting c/o Sara Jane Elliot 2 Koralburst Lane Scarborough, Maine 04074 or The Maine Women's Fund 565 Congress St. Portland, Maine 01101
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