Phil Langan

Here's a letter to the editor that my spouse and I just sent to the Valley News. They might not print it, because it might be too personal.

To the Editor:

Though his obituary appeared in the Valley News on November 25, itseems fitting that someone take the opportunity in this space tomemorialize frequent Forum letter-writer Phil Langan of Enfield.

We are the unlikeliest of Phil Langan fans. We are avidly pro choice,to the point of having served as board members of an abortionprovider. Phil’s letters typically railed against abortion and itspractitioners, often in language we found outrageous.

It’s actually our two young kids who really knew Phil and his wifeUta, who died in August, because the Langans helped us with childcarefrom time to time, often at their home. Uta and Phil were alwayskindly and caring. We never discussed the wide ideological dividebetween us, though they were aware of it. And yet we know that Philwas not afraid to say difficult things to us, because he shared someof his anguish with us during Uta’s last days.

What to make of such a nice man, who wrote such angry letters? Weremain uncertain. It is often tempting for pro-choicers to seehypocrisy in pro-lifers who care so much for the unborn but not somuch for other peoples’ kids in the years following their births. Incontrast, our family’s acquaintance with the Langans suggests a moralcoherence that readers of Phil’s letters would not necessarily havegrasped.

Thus we are grateful to have known the Langans. And we are gratefulto live in a community where even deep moral disagreements do notalways have to prevent people from knowing and helping each other.